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Sunday, June 17, 2012

PBP: Keeping score


Often times I am very proud of our Neo-Pagan community. We have accomplished so much together and sometimes we even manage to reconcile the various Traditions and form a cohesive front with which to present ourselves to the outside world. Yet, sometimes I am ashamed to be part of the Pagan banner, of the decisions we  make and the intolerance we display.

We struggle with the seekers whom we call 'wannabees', fight against Traditions like the Dianics and the Fairy Tradition and often times we don't take people who are part of a different Tradition than our own seriously. Simply because it's not 'the way we do it'. We judge others upon the decisions they make, even if they are part of their Tradition.

We keep score.

When a Tradition is wronged, they keep score. When a Tradition messes up, we keep score. We drag each other through the mud, out of indignation or elitism. We don't allow other Traditions their traditions out of a misplaced sense of 'our way is the right way'. Witchwars, flaming. We have a tendency to throw our Elders under the bus. Z Budapest over Pantheacon, Laurie Cabot over the way she continues to dress. We forget (or are never taught) what our Elders did for Neo-Paganism.

Let me be clear: we owe our Elders everything we have gained.

If we can't deal with each other in a civil manner, how will we manage to claim our share of the religious landscape? How can anyone from one Tradition represent the whole of Neo-Paganism during interfaith meetings if that person refuses to look beyond their own Tradition?

When we take up any Neo-Pagan practice, we automatically adopt its history and, perhaps more importantly, we become part of its future. We will pass our Neo-Pagan Traditions on to the next generation. I sincerely hope we pass it along with dignity, tolerance and acceptance.

I hope we finally stop keeping score.

4 comments:

  1. Tolerating a bigot isn't tolerance. It's supporting the oppressive status quo and the marginalization of already marginalized people.

    Z Budapest is a bigot. She thinks trans folk should die. She openly spews hatred towards trans people (and following that, non-binary gendered people, though I'm sure she'd like to pretend that we don't even exist).

    I don't want that in my paganism. I don't want to teach my future children that it's okay to tolerate a bigot so long as they wrote a good book some several decades ago. That *that* is what women's spirituality means. I reject her and her oppressive, transphobic ideas.

    That's not keeping score. That's not throwing her under the bus, like she did to trans women. It's standing up for justice.

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    1. I get where you're coming from and, believe me, what she did, does, said and is saying is inexcusable. She handled (and handles) it like crap. I don't want to be associated with that either and there is no reason to be. If she would have made it clear that her rituals were for 'biological women' only, much of the problems would have been avoided. It would have been no excuse but it would have been her bigotry to share with those who feel comfortable attending a ritual like that. It would still have been wrong, in my opinion, but it would have been clearer.

      No matter how much I oppose Z's ideology and methodology, I believe it is hers to preach and follow. I have no say in that and, just like I have the right to be pro LGBTQI, transgendered, etc., she has the right to oppose it. I might not like it but it is her right, and her Tradition.

      Do I want my future children to hear Z's message? Or to respect her for it? No. I really don't. But it doesn't take away from her influence on the Pagan movement. That doesn't mean that this influence is a blanket excuse for anything she does and says now but, like the warning against her current ideology, I will tell my future children about the Reclaiming movement and how it paved the way for a Goddess-centered religion. I will tell them how this movement opened up the way for a multitude of faiths. I will tell them about the empowering message Budapest sent out into the world before her ideas radicalized. And I will tell them about her radicalization as a warning. 'Don't forget what you're fighting for or start fighting just because you're used to it'.

      It is one thing to calmly engage in a discussion about what happened and another to demonize someone either in their face or behind their back. I understand the anger towards Z and her closest followers, and I do agree with it. It's hard not to. But it also doesn't solve anything. All it does is create more hatred, because we'll be proving them right.

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    2. Except that Z Budapest didn't have anything to do with Reclaiming.

      Are you referring to Dianic Wicca/Witchcraft? Because even though Budapest is credited with being the mother of Dianic Witchcraft, she's actually not. There was another group already coming up with this stuff, and she took it, ran with it, and added her own brand of batshit to it. Sage discovered this when doing her thesis; the name of the group was the McFarlands.

      Also, the terminology "biological women" is pretty much meaningless, as we're all biological creatures and trans women are women, so they're biological women. If Budapest had used the preferred terminology of cisgendered, then it wouldn't have been such a big deal. But she didn't; she continued to use bigoted terminology.

      The bigger problem, however, was that Pantheacon allowed this to happen twice. That is why everyone is so angry. Believe me, most people know that Budapest is a bigot, and we're very happy ignoring her. But when she's allowed to present a huge convention and to spread her hatred there...that's where we have a problem. Because the money of trans folk paid for her to present.

      It looks like Pantheacon will be taking this more seriously and it hopefully won't happen again, so I'm hopeful for the future of the convention.

      And trust me, I don't need to demonize Budapest. She's a bigot, and her words speak for themselves. I'm just really tired of people telling me I should be polite to people who reject that I have a right to exist.

      Nice doesn't equal good. For more on this, I suggest reading this blog post: http://www.socialjusticeleague.net/2012/04/the-revolution-will-not-be-polite-the-issue-of-nice-versus-good/

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    3. I'm sorry, I should have been clearer in both my explanation and terminology. In my defense, it was 1 AM and I really should have been in bed. Now, with a slightly clearer morning head; I meant the influence Budapest's earlier ideas had on Starhawk and the Reclaiming movement. I should also have mentioned Dianic Wicca. I am aware of McFarland Dianic and I would not be surprised at all if Budapest got some of her ideas from there. But the two movements are (now) so distinguished that I really don't see a point in dragging McFarland Dianic into it. For one, they are male inclusive and as far as I'm aware, there is no hatred towards transgendered folk.

      Isn't the fact that Z was allowed to preach at Pantheacon a reason to be pissed at the organizers of Pantheacon? I hate to play devil's advocate but being allowed to present her views at a broader stage is no fault of Budapest. She's just standing behind her teachings (as misguided as they may be, in my opinion). Wouldn't it make more sense to vilify the fair's organizers instead of someone who has been pushing her vision for years and years?

      There is no reason to be nice to Budapest. That's not what I'm implying. I'm saying that what happened at Pantheacon seems to be placed onto her shoulders as her responsibility, but that seems misplaced to me, for reasons mentioned above. As a teacher and priestess, I understand she would feel to be within her right to present at Pantheacon. And judging things from her point of view, she does. She's Pagan, she has a Tradition and vision she wants to share and which has people drawn to it. It was up to the organizers of Pantheacon to say 'no' in the first (or second, as there is year number two to consider) place.

      I have a lot of issues with Dianic Witchcraft, and Budapest's blend of it in particular, but that (perhaps unfortunately) doesn't make it any less valid. I also have issues with Chaos magic, Satanism and a large bit of Christianity. My dislike of them doesn't invalidate any of them in the least. They have their place... and I stay far away from it.

      While I'm cis-gendered, I am also a lesbian and I have seen my fair share of hatred towards the LGBTQI community in the years I was very active in said community. I have never been able to fully understand why there is so much hatred towards LGBTQI people, yet I do know, from festivals and individual meetings, that homophobia is best combatted by being myself and showing the bigots I'm not as scary/evil/vile/etc. as they think I am. In fact, I am surprisingly like them.

      So I don't hate. I fight with information, with inclusion. I stopped keeping score. It's something that works for me but which might not work for you at all. And that is fine. We all deal with our struggles differently and I thank you for including me in yours.

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