PBP: Believing

One of the most difficult things about changing or adopting a religion is to start believing in it. It's a mental change that sometimes takes years to complete. Perhaps for some, it might never happen at all. Even I, who was well aware of beings in my life who seemed to be somehow bigger than me since I was little, had trouble accepting that Gods exist. If I'm completely honest, some days I still doubt. Not because I question what I have experienced but because I like to be socially accepted. And unfortunately, proclaiming proudly that you worship and pour libations to Zeus and His merry band of Theoi rarely goes over well.

Taken from: hellenicgods.org

Yet that is what I do. I worship the Hellenic Gods (as well as a few others but that's talk for another post). I pour libations to Them, I try to observe Their holidays. I pray to Them and hold ritual for Them. In short: I believe in Their existence and Their influence over this world.

It wasn't an over-night thing. I started out mostly Neo-Wiccan, claiming that all Gods are the Horned God and all Goddesses are The Goddess. I respect this opinion but I don't have it anymore. I subscribe this view to the (Neo-)Wiccan community and I have walked away from that because it was no longer my home. This happened gradually and it felt like an actual loss. Like saying goodbye to a dear friend with whom I'd lovingly build a relationship I thought would last forever.

Yet, as I experienced the Gods more in ritual and in my day-to-day life, I realized that all these deities are not the same. They have distinct personalities, likes, dislikes, loves and lives. And of all those Gods and Goddesses out there, I feel most at home with the Hellenic pantheon. Because I relate to Them and seeing the world through the myths associated with Them has helped me most to make sense of my life and the world around me.

Other pantheons that have a place in my heart are the Egyptian pantheon and the Norse pantheon. And yet, one of my patron Goddesses is Brighid, one of the best known deities from the Celtic pantheon. You have got to love how complicated Neo-Pagan religion is to the average practitioner.

When I still called myself Neo-Wiccan, I didn't really believe in the God and Goddess. As soon as I realized I was a hard polytheist, it was fairly obvious why. I then proceeded to try and fool myself by claiming that I saw all Gods as archetypes. Well, that didn't last long either. The joy of finally accepting I am a hard polytheist came in the form of faith in all the Gods I previously had trouble believing in; like the Wiccan God and Goddess with whom I now have a wonderful working relationship.

I have found that believing comes with doing and learning. The more you know about the Gods you are attracted to, the easier it is to identify with Them. The more you work with Them, the more you will feel Their presence and the more it becomes logical to offer to Them. In return, They will show Their presence more and thus the circle is created.

So B is for Believing. In Gods, in yourself, in what you are experiencing. And believing that what you belief is worth believing in. No matter what everyone else thinks about your believes and, sometimes, no matter what you think about what you believe.