Repetition, repetition, repetition, and thanks

For seven months now, I have stood at my main household shrine at least once a day. I have tossed the barley, prepared khernips, cleansed myself, raised my hands in prayer, have given sacrifice and said my prayers. For seven months now, I have changed candles from wax to electric, and back, have cleaned my tools at the new moon, have rode my bike out to the crossroads with a backpack full of offerings of eggs, wine, keys and ritual left-overs.

And every time I do it, it feels better.

Every time, it means more to me.

With each passing month, I become more aware of the moon phases, of the best times for certain endeavors,  of days to avoid and of the Theoi, who are everywhere in my life. With each passing day, I manage to open up to Them more. I come to rely on Them more and more, and every day, I become stronger. I become more secure. I dare take stands, need to temper myself less and less, and I become more sure of my path every day that goes by.

There have been hard times in the last seven months; times when I thought I would reach the end of my rope. Every time, I raised my hands to the sky and prayed. I made the conscious decision--a vow--to place my fate in Their hands, and without fail, all was resolved. My patience and devotion was rewarded, and while I have felt the flicker of doubt on occasion, it was consumed by the eternal flame on my household shrine.

I have learned more in the last seven months than I have in the seven years prior to it--and I was never a slacker in my studies. I learned about the Theoi, about mythology, about religion, about trust, about love... but above all, I learned about myself in relation to all of these. I have learned about the darkness inside me--like in all of us--and about the light. I have learned that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be.

Where I thought I would never trust anyone else as completely as I did when I was a child, I have learned to trust in that very same way. Trust in others, trust in the Gods, trust in myself. I have learned to trust that my opinion matters, that my research is valid, that my bonds with the Theoi are real, that I am not alone in my believes, and that when it feels like I am, that is fine as well.

Although I knew this before, it was reaffirmed that you can teach yourself to do anything you have set your mind to. I have learned that being mindful of the ethical responsibilities placed upon us by the Theoi is a breeze. I have learned that you give nothing up when you choose a Reconstructionistic path, but gain the world.

I have learned this is where I belong.

To you, I want to say 'thank you'. For reading, for commenting, for 'liking', for talking about me behind my back on your own--closed--blog, or to my face in your open corner of the internet. For giving me something to think about, for giving me a chance, when I'm still figuring it all out myself. I want to thank you for being part of my community.

I don't care about the number of people who visit this blog, but I do care about the people who visit this blog. Some of you have let me know who you are: you follow this blog in your reader, on Facebook, or on Twitter. You watch and follow my videos. Others, are silent lurkers, whom I am grateful to, regardless.

I have said it before; I started blogging for myself and the Theoi, but I have kept blogging because of you. So you, whomever you are: thank you for letting me figure out who I am and what I believe, in these posts. Thank you for sticking with me, and sticking up for me. You are truly a gift.

You are one of the best things that has come out of my transition to Hellenismos.