Sometimes reader questions are hard to answer, either because I simply don't know the answer, or because I know the answer, but it's probably not what they want to hear. He's an example of the latter:
"First off, thank you so much for your daily blog posts! I read them daily and it has really helped me on my short journey in being a recon. So my question is that, I have a friend who unfortunately has a father is close to death. Is there a gift that I could give him that has a good meaning for the Gods and would be appropriate? Thanks again! Joel"
First of all, I'm sorry for your, and of course your friend's, immanent loss. I can't imagine losing your father. When he passes, may the
judges judge him kindly. As for your question, Joel; the ancient Hellenes did not generally leave elaborate grave goods, and gifts were generally given to the family of the deceased. These gifts would have consisted--much like today--of food and other things to get through the trying time ahead where grief prevented them from doing the daily chores.
To answer your question, I'm going to do a bit of cutting and pasting from previous posts instead of just linking you to them, but you can read more about the practices described by following the provided links.
Sacrifices and gifts given to the Ouranic deities were given to establish
kharis:
the act of giving to the Gods so They might give something in return. It's
religious reciprocity. Kharis need not be established with Khthonic deities: for us humans, we will go
to the Underworld regardless of good standing--Haides always accepts us, if we can pay our way to Him. Any gifts given are for the dying or the deceased themselves--or their family.
The ancient Hellenes believed that the moment a person died, their
psyche--spirit--left the body in a puff or like a breath of wind.
Proper burial
was incredibly important to the ancient Hellenes, and to not give a loved one a
fully ritualized funeral was unthinkable. It was, however, used as punishment of
dead enemies, but only rarely. Funerary rites were performed solely to get the
deceased into the
afterlife,
and everyone who passed away was prepared for burial according to time-honoured
rituals.
They believed the
Underworld was a neutral place. One did not desire to go there in the least, but it was part of life, and as far as the afterlife went, it was dull and sunless but nothing like the hell of Christianity. The worst part about it is being without the touch of loved ones, and forgetting who you were.
A burial or cremation had four parts: preparing the body, the prothesis
(Προθησις, 'display of the body'), the ekphorá (ἐκφορά 'funeral procession'),
and the interment of the body or cremated remains of the deceased. Preparation
of the body was always done by women, and was usually done by a woman over
sixty, or a close relative who was related no further away from the deceased
than the degree of second cousin. These were also the only people in the
ekphorá. The deceased was stripped, washed, anointed with oil, and then dressed
in his or her finest clothes. They also received jewelry and other fineries. A
coin could be presented to the dead, and laid under or below the tongue, or even
on the eyes, as payment to
Kharon.
During the actual funeral, a related mourner first dedicated a lock of hair, then provided the deceased
with offerings of honey, milk, water, wine, perfumes, and oils mixed in varying
amounts. Any libation was a
khoe;
a libation given in its entirety to the deceased. None was had by the
mourners. A prayer to the Theoi--most likely Hermes Khthonios--then followed
these libations. It was also possible to make a haimacouria before the wine was
poured. In a haimacouria, a black ram or black bull is slain and the blood is
offered to the deceased. This blood sacrifice, however, was probably used only
when they were sacrificing in honour of a number of men, or for someone
incredibly important. Then came the enagismata, which were offerings to the dead
that included milk, honey, water, wine, celery, pelanon--a mixture of meal,
honey, and oil--and kollyba--the first fruits of the crops and dried fresh
fruits.
Unlike the ancient Egyptians, the ancient Hellenes placed very
few objects in the grave, but monumental earth mounds, rectangular built tombs,
and elaborate marble stelai and statues were often erected to mark the grave and
to ensure that the deceased would not be forgotten. Grave gifts were allowed in
many places, but could not cost more than a set amount all together. These
elaborate burial places served as a place for the family members to visit the
grave with offerings that included small cakes and libations. The goal was to
never be forgotten; if the dead was remembered always, and fed with libations
and other offerings, their spirit would stay 'alive' forever. That said,
especially in Athens, names on grave markers were restricted to women who died
in childbirth and men who died in battle.
The
epitaphios logos, or funerary oration, was deemed an indispensable component
of the funeral ritual, especially in ancient Athens, where it came into practice
around 470 BC for the honoured (war) dead. A large part of Hellenic rituals of
the dead speak of honouring the dead by name, so their names will never be
forgotten, their honour never lost. This practice starts with the epitaphios
logos, in which the deceased is remembered for their greatest of
deeds. Because Plato was eternally weary of the abilities of others to
conduct the oration in the way it was intended, he made a guide for it,
describing the
four steps. It started with the preamble, which describes why this oration is held and how
the audience should behave during it and after it. This part tends to include an
apology from the speaker that he or she will never do true justice to the
achievements of the dead. Following that, there is a long talk of the origin and
ancestors of the deceased, followed by an account of the bravery and other good
attributes of the dead. this part tended to include they devotion to the
Athenian Polity. Finally, there was an epilogue, which constitutes a consolation
and an encouragement for the families of the dead. The epilogue employs a
traditional dismissal of the mourners.
Many modern funeral rites bear striking resemblance to the customs of the
ancient Hellenes, so do not worry to much about the funeral. An addition would be the khoe to Hermes Khthonios where you present him with coin(s) for the dead.
Tell him you will pay for your friend's father's passage, should he need it, and pray that He
and Kharon will accept. Grieve loudly, especially if you are a woman. Tell
stories of the deceased, and make sure your friend's father is never forgotten. This preservation of their memory is, perhaps, the greatest gift you can give someone who has passed; the Gods, really, are only marginally involved with the dead and dying.
