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Thursday, May 22, 2014

Gifts to the dead and dying

Sometimes reader questions are hard to answer, either because I simply don't know the answer, or because I know the answer, but it's probably not what they want to hear. He's an example of the latter:

"First off, thank you so much for your daily blog posts! I read them daily and it has really helped me on my short journey in being a recon. So my question is that, I have a friend who unfortunately has a father is close to death. Is there a gift that I could give him that has a good meaning for the Gods and would be appropriate? Thanks again! Joel"

First of all, I'm sorry for your, and of course your friend's, immanent loss. I can't imagine losing your father. When he passes, may the judges judge him kindly. As for your question, Joel; the ancient Hellenes did not generally leave elaborate grave goods, and gifts were generally given to the family of the deceased. These gifts would have consisted--much like today--of food and other things to get through the trying time ahead where grief prevented them from doing the daily chores.

To answer your question, I'm going to do a bit of cutting and pasting from previous posts instead of just linking you to them, but you can read more about the practices described by following the provided links.

Sacrifices and gifts given to the Ouranic deities were given to establish kharis: the act of giving to the Gods so They might give something in return. It's religious reciprocity. Kharis need not be established with Khthonic deities: for us humans, we will go to the Underworld regardless of good standing--Haides always accepts us, if we can pay our way to Him. Any gifts given are for the dying or the deceased themselves--or their family.

The ancient Hellenes believed that the moment a person died, their psyche--spirit--left the body in a puff or like a breath of wind. Proper burial was incredibly important to the ancient Hellenes, and to not give a loved one a fully ritualized funeral was unthinkable. It was, however, used as punishment of dead enemies, but only rarely. Funerary rites were performed solely to get the deceased into the afterlife, and everyone who passed away was prepared for burial according to time-honoured rituals.

They believed the Underworld was a neutral place. One did not desire to go there in the least, but it was part of life, and as far as the afterlife went, it was dull and sunless but nothing like the hell of Christianity. The worst part about it is being without the touch of loved ones, and forgetting who you were.

A burial or cremation had four parts: preparing the body, the prothesis (Προθησις, 'display of the body'), the ekphorá (ἐκφορά 'funeral procession'), and the interment of the body or cremated remains of the deceased. Preparation of the body was always done by women, and was usually done by a woman over sixty, or a close relative who was related no further away from the deceased than the degree of second cousin. These were also the only people in the ekphorá. The deceased was stripped, washed, anointed with oil, and then dressed in his or her finest clothes. They also received jewelry and other fineries. A coin could be presented to the dead, and laid under or below the tongue, or even on the eyes, as payment to Kharon.

During the actual funeral, a related mourner first dedicated a lock of hair, then provided the deceased with offerings of honey, milk, water, wine, perfumes, and oils mixed in varying amounts. Any libation was a khoe; a libation given in its entirety to the deceased. None was had by the mourners. A prayer to the Theoi--most likely Hermes Khthonios--then followed these libations. It was also possible to make a haimacouria before the wine was poured. In a haimacouria, a black ram or black bull is slain and the blood is offered to the deceased. This blood sacrifice, however, was probably used only when they were sacrificing in honour of a number of men, or for someone incredibly important. Then came the enagismata, which were offerings to the dead that included milk, honey, water, wine, celery, pelanon--a mixture of meal, honey, and oil--and kollyba--the first fruits of the crops and dried fresh fruits.

Unlike the ancient Egyptians, the ancient Hellenes placed very few objects in the grave, but monumental earth mounds, rectangular built tombs, and elaborate marble stelai and statues were often erected to mark the grave and to ensure that the deceased would not be forgotten. Grave gifts were allowed in many places, but could not cost more than a set amount all together. These elaborate burial places served as a place for the family members to visit the grave with offerings that included small cakes and libations. The goal  was to never be forgotten; if the dead was remembered always, and fed with libations and other offerings, their spirit would stay 'alive' forever. That said, especially in Athens, names on grave markers were restricted to women who died in childbirth and men who died in battle.

The epitaphios logos, or funerary oration, was deemed an indispensable component of the funeral ritual, especially in ancient Athens, where it came into practice around 470 BC for the honoured (war) dead. A large part of Hellenic rituals of the dead speak of honouring the dead by name, so their names will never be forgotten, their honour never lost. This practice starts with the epitaphios logos, in which the deceased is remembered for their greatest of deeds. Because Plato was eternally weary of the abilities of others to conduct the oration in the way it was intended, he made a guide for it, describing the four steps. It started with the preamble, which describes why this oration is held and how the audience should behave during it and after it. This part tends to include an apology from the speaker that he or she will never do true justice to the achievements of the dead. Following that, there is a long talk of the origin and ancestors of the deceased, followed by an account of the bravery and other good attributes of the dead. this part tended to include they devotion to the Athenian Polity. Finally, there was an epilogue, which constitutes a consolation and an encouragement for the families of the dead. The epilogue employs a traditional dismissal of the mourners.

Many modern funeral rites bear striking resemblance to the customs of the ancient Hellenes, so do not worry to much about the funeral. An addition would be the khoe to Hermes Khthonios where you  present him with coin(s) for the dead. Tell him you will pay for your friend's father's passage, should he need it, and pray that He and Kharon will accept. Grieve loudly, especially if you are a woman. Tell stories of the deceased, and make sure your friend's father is never forgotten. This preservation of their memory is, perhaps, the greatest gift you can give someone who has passed; the Gods, really, are only marginally involved with the dead and dying.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you! It's often difficult to know how to handle situations in which another's religion is present. But I know now what I can do for his father. Thanks again.

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