Hēphaistos and Apollon on young Hermes

What follows is the writing of Lucian of Samosata (Λουκιανὸς ὁ Σαμοσατεύς), who lived from 125 to 180 AD. He was a Hellenic rhetorian and satirist. It is from his 'Dialogues of the Gods', which contains some of my favorite passages written by an ancient Hellenic author ever. This version of the text was translated by Fowler, H W and F G. Oxford: The Clarendon Press. 1905. This is the dialogue of Hēphaistos and Apollon about young thieving Hermes. The text is copied--unedited--from Theoi.com.

HEPHAESTUS

Have you seen Maia's baby, Apollo? such a pretty little thing, with a smile for everybody; you can see it is going to be a treasure.

APOLLO

That baby a treasure? well, in mischief, Iapetus is young beside it.

HEPHAESTUS

Why, what harm can it do, only just born?

APOLLO

Ask Posidon; it stole his trident. Ask Ares; he was surprised to find his sword gone out of the scabbard. Not to mention myself, disarmed of bow and arrows.

HEPHAESTUS

Never! that infant? he has hardly found his legs yet; he is not out of his baby-linen.

APOLLO

Ah, you will find out, Hephaestus, if he gets within reach of you.

HEPHAESTUS

He has been.

APOLLO

Well? all your tools safe? none missing?

HEPHAESTUS

Of course not.

APOLLO

I advise you to make sure.

HEPHAESTUS

Zeus! where are my pincers?

APOLLO

Ah, you will find them among the baby-linen.

HEPHAESTUS

So light-fingered? one would swear he had practised petty larceny in the womb.

APOLLO

Ah, and you don't know what a glib young chatterbox he is; and, if he has his way, he is to be our errand-boy! Yesterday he challenged Eros—tripped up his heels somehow, and had him on his back in a twinkling; before the applause was over, he had taken the opportunity of a congratulatory hug from Aphrodite to steal her girdle; Zeus had not done laughing before—the sceptre was gone. If the thunderbolt had not been too heavy, and very hot, he would have made away with that too.

                 

HEPHAESTUS

The child has some spirit in him, by your account.

APOLLO

Spirit, yes—and some music, moreover, young as he is.

HEPHAESTUS

How can you tell that?

APOLLO

He picked up a dead tortoise somewhere or other, and contrived an instrument with it. He fitted horns to it, with a cross-bar, stuck in pegs, inserted a bridge, and played a sweet tuneful thing that made an old harper like me quite envious. Even at night, Maia was saying, he does not stay in Heaven; he goes down poking his nose into Hades—on a thieves' errand, no doubt. Then he has a pair of wings, and he has made himself a magic wand, which he uses for marshalling souls—convoying the dead to their place.

HEPHAESTUS

Ah, I gave him that, for a toy.

APOLLO

And by way of payment he stole—

HEPHAESTUS

Well thought on; I must go and get them; you may be right about the baby-linen.

• Thursday, August 15, 2019
  Apollon Hēphaistos Hermes Lucian Maia this is not a real post

Hēphaistos and Apollon on little Hermes

I am feeling particularly combative and recalcitrant today. No one's fault, really, but the only topics that came into my head today are topics I will regret writing about afterwards, so I am just not going to write today. Trust me, it is best for all involved. I will leave you with a little ancient whimsy that fits my mood perfectly and boot up Mass Effect 3 to kick some Reaper ass. Hopefully, tomorrow I won't be feeling stabby anymore and regular broadcasting will resume.

What follows is the writing of Lucian of Samosata (Λουκιανὸς ὁ Σαμοσατεύς), who lived from 125 to 180 AD. He was a Hellenic rhetorian and satirist. It is from his 'Dialogues of the Gods', which contains some of my favorite passages written by an ancient Hellenic author ever. This version of the text was translated by Fowler, H W and F G. Oxford: The Clarendon Press. 1905. This is the dialogue of Hēphaistos and Apollon about young thieving Hermes. The text is copied--unedited--from Theoi.com.


HEPHAESTUS
Have you seen Maia's baby, Apollo? such a pretty little thing, with a smile for everybody; you can see it is going to be a treasure.

APOLLO
That baby a treasure? well, in mischief, Iapetus is young beside it.

HEPHAESTUS
Why, what harm can it do, only just born?

APOLLO
Ask Posidon; it stole his trident. Ask Ares; he was surprised to find his sword gone out of the scabbard. Not to mention myself, disarmed of bow and arrows.

HEPHAESTUS
Never! that infant? he has hardly found his legs yet; he is not out of his baby-linen.

APOLLO
Ah, you will find out, Hephaestus, if he gets within reach of you.

HEPHAESTUS
He has been.

APOLLO
Well? all your tools safe? none missing?

HEPHAESTUS
Of course not.

APOLLO
I advise you to make sure.

HEPHAESTUS
Zeus! where are my pincers?

APOLLO
Ah, you will find them among the baby-linen.

HEPHAESTUS
So light-fingered? one would swear he had practised petty larceny in the womb.

APOLLO
Ah, and you don't know what a glib young chatterbox he is; and, if he has his way, he is to be our errand-boy! Yesterday he challenged Eros—tripped up his heels somehow, and had him on his back in a twinkling; before the applause was over, he had taken the opportunity of a congratulatory hug from Aphrodite to steal her girdle; Zeus had not done laughing before—the sceptre was gone. If the thunderbolt had not been too heavy, and very hot, he would have made away with that too.
                 
HEPHAESTUS
The child has some spirit in him, by your account.

APOLLO
Spirit, yes—and some music, moreover, young as he is.

HEPHAESTUS
How can you tell that?

APOLLO
He picked up a dead tortoise somewhere or other, and contrived an instrument with it. He fitted horns to it, with a cross-bar, stuck in pegs, inserted a bridge, and played a sweet tuneful thing that made an old harper like me quite envious. Even at night, Maia was saying, he does not stay in Heaven; he goes down poking his nose into Hades—on a thieves' errand, no doubt. Then he has a pair of wings, and he has made himself a magic wand, which he uses for marshalling souls—convoying the dead to their place.

HEPHAESTUS
Ah, I gave him that, for a toy.

APOLLO
And by way of payment he stole—

HEPHAESTUS
Well thought on; I must go and get them; you may be right about the baby-linen.

• Wednesday, October 2, 2013
  Apollon Hēphaistos Hermes Lucian Maia this is not a real post

Lots and sports

Yesterday I came upon a fellow bemoaning the 'modern' system of grouping opponents together by lot in the sporting world. I think this specifically concerned The Netherlands' lack of luck in selected opponents for the Davis Cup (that would be a tennis competition, for those unaware). After a short chuckle, I politely told him that choosing opponents by lot was not as modern as he might imagine, and that any sporting competition in ancient Hellas where two or more people competed against each other was decided by lot.

The ancient Hellenes actually practiced many sports that didn't require lots: all the equestrian and running events took place with all registered runners, sometimes in their age category. Young boys, for example, rarely raced against grown men. That wasn't fair, even in the eyes of the ancient Hellenes. There was one group of sports, however, that did require a form of lots. There were the combat contact sports: wrestling, boxing, and pankration.

Especially from records concerning pankration, we know how lots were used in ancient Hellas. Lucian of Samosata (Λουκιανὸς ὁ Σαμοσατεύς), who lived from 125 - 180 AD, describes how lots for pankratia were drawn at Olympia in his surviving 'Hermotimus':

"A consecrated silver urn is produced, and into it are thrown little lots about the size of a bean, with letters on them. Two are marked alpha 1, two beta, two more gamma, and so on, if the competitors run to more than that--two lots always to each letter. A competitor comes up, makes a prayer to Zeus, dips his hand into the urn, and pulls out one lot; then another does the same; there is a policeman to each drawer, who holds his hand so that he cannot see what letter he has drawn. When all have drawn, the chief police officer, I think it is, or one of the stewards themselves--I cannot quite remember this detail--, goes round and examines the lots while they stand in a circle, and puts together the two alphas for the wrestling or pancratium, and so for the two betas, and the rest. That is the procedure when the number of competitors is even, as eight, four, or twelve. If it is five, seven, nine, or other odd number, an odd letter is marked on one lot, which is put in with the others, not having a duplicate. Whoever draws this is a bye, and waits till the rest have finished their ties; no duplicate turns up for him, you see; and it is a considerable advantage to an athlete, to know that he will come fresh against tired competitors." [p. 64]
 

Unlike modern competitions, this proccess was repeated every round. Being a bye, which was known as an 'ephedros' in Greek (ἔφεδρος, 'reserve') was considered an advantage, so if you managed to got through the competition without ever being picked as ephedros, you got much more prestige out of the competition. Due to the bye, however, it was possible to go through the entire competition without fighting until the finale. Winning that way was recognized, but wouldn't net you much respect.

Ancient Hellenic combat sports did not take into account age or weight when picking lots. The youngest, leanest, fighter could be put up against the buffest, most experienced fighter of all. That was how Zeus had decreed it, after all. As such, I doubt modern lots are less unfair than the ancient equivalent: at least in modern times, the teams are split by level, and amateur players would never qualify for the Davis Cup. Because that would, indeed, be slightly unfair.

• Thursday, September 19, 2013
  ancient Hellenic culture Lucian Olympic Games