Remember three days ago, when I told you a team of international lawyers is consulting Greece on how to go about regaining ownership of the Parthenon Marbles? One of the lawyers is Amal Alamuddin, a London-based British-Lebanese lawyer, activist, and author. She is a barrister at Doughty Street Chambers, specialising in international law, criminal law, human rights, and extradition. She often works for big name clientele like Julian Assange, the founder of WikiLeaks, and the former prime minister of Ukraine, Yulia Tymoshenko. She has been legally involved in many plights, including how to protect children and women in warzones, and ending sexual violence as a whole. She is a respected lawyer, who has a very successful career spanning nearly fifteen years. Since about a month, she is also George Clooney's wife, and that, it seems, has now become her defining feature. Excuse me a moment while I rant at you.

(Photo: Pierre Teyssot/AFP/Getty)
(Photo: Pierre Teyssot/AFP/Getty)
The Spectator, a weekly British conservative magazine, decided to publish one of the most offensive pieces of journalism I have read in a very long time, entitled: 'Tell you what Mrs Clooney. If Greece repays its $240 billion EU loan, we’ll return the Marbles'. Oh, where do I begin... how about at the fact that no person, but especially not a professional, working, woman, should ever be defined by the person she has married? How about at the fact that personal attacks are never justifiable? How about at the fact that it doesn't matter a single bit who this woman is married to in the first place?! And moving on from that topic... whoever wrote this needs a healthy reality check and long overdue history lesson. I'm going to quote from the article a moment:
"Hollywood has a reputation for creating trite storylines in which either a lawyer is cast as the hero or England as the villain. Its latest epic has both, and this one is reality. Little more than a week after her marriage to George Clooney, the world’s most photographed barrister, Amal Alamuddin -Clooney, has flown off to advise the Greek government on how to force the removal of the Elgin Marbles from the British Museum.

Given the rioting, economic meltdown and general chaos of recent years, it would be easy to think that Greece had more immediate worries than the whereabouts of a set of decorative stones rescued in the early 19th century — with permission from authorities in Athens — to save them from being chiselled away by peasants for -quicklime. But that misses the point. What would Greek politicians do if the marbles were returned? No longer would they have a patriotic issue to beat their chests about in order to distract from their failures.

In the name of European harmony, we would like to propose a compromise: we will return the Elgin Marbles once Greece has repaid the €240 billion of emergency loans made by EU states during the crisis, and honoured all its government bonds. Until then, we suggest Greece recognises the role Lord Elgin played in rescuing its deteriorating heritage and accepts that the British Museum has done an excellent job in preserving the marbles and displaying them to scholars and the public alike. To have a little bit of the glory of ancient Athens in London hardly seems out of line with the spirit of shared European culture."

First if all, how dare you? Second of all? What are you even trying to say? That Greece is overreacting? That they should just accept the theft of their cultural heritage and leave it at that? That Greece is an unstable, corrupt country that needs help from the big and bright Britain? Because none of those things are even remotely true or anywhere near okay to say. And, again, dragging Clooney-Alamuddin's marital status into this is just a low blow. There are three people on the team of lawyers, all uniquely qualified to traverse this minefield, and neither Clooney-Alamuddin's marital status or her looks have anything to do with that.

This article shows such a terrible disregard for not only the lawyers involved--Clooney-Alamuddin especially, who has been bombarded by paparazzi while in Greece--but also the marbles and Greece as a country. Statements like 'a set of decorative stones rescued in the early 19th century' show such ignorance and disdain that it makes my blood boil. Usually I don't let these things get to me, but sometimes something slips past my misogyny and entitlement-shield and I just... go off.

This issue won't be resolved any time soon, so we might as well gear up for the long haul, but if this is the level of 'journalism' that will cover it, I might end up hiding under a rock until it's over. Sometimes I just can't stand humanity.